Sunday 16 May 2010

Old piano and never ending creative outlets.

I have this awesome keyboard. I bought it a year ago on impulse and have never regretted it. But, sadly my piano has been neglected recently. Up until yesterday it was another desk for about six months where I put all my paperwork and clothes. It gathered a fair amount of dust over time.
I never played piano. I bought it still unlearned and was willing to take lessons. Then I left my job for college and obviously couldn't afford them, so I decided to try and teach myself, sometimes. Okay almost never. But today I got back into the swing of things.
It's not like I'm an excellent musician, I'm not. But, it was fun to actually just sit around and test the thing out again. Then like any wannabe musician I went on to good ol' youtube and looked up some songs that would be easy to play. Loads of Lady Gaga tunes were suggested.
I'm not a huge Gaga fan, but her songs aren't that bad. I have her album The Fame Monster, and it's pretty okay actually. I never thought I'd like it, but she won me over. So I started off with 'Just Dance' the easiest out of the bunch. (E x 4, Ab x 4, Eb x 4, A x 3, Ab, E....). Then the opening of 'Poker Face' and 'Telephone.' I was quite proud I managed that.
Okay, I know it's a little bit lame, but meh I'm happy about it. I'm hoping one day to work my way up to the likes of The Cure, Cranberries and Paramore. Then after that Lynard Skynard. It would be so cool to learn Freebird. Especially the amount of times I've heard the douches at concerts shout it out.
I always thought that no matter how old I get or if I never make it as a writer, or successful musician (insert laugh here) at least I'd still be able to do it. I definitely don't want to be one of the people in life where my life is all about my job. That thought terrifies me to the bone. One of my tutors (who has got the heavy persona of a psychiatrist) wisely advised me to try and explore life. Something I already intend to do. He pretty much said "if you don't get out of Dartford and find a creative career path you'll go insane." Okay, I might be embellishing a little, but that was the gist. I like where I live. I don't really want to go. I may never get to do what I want, because I still don't even know really. But, hopefully we can compromise on the fact that I'll still be creative in whatever I do. Even if it's a job where nothing creative is involved. Hopefully, I'll have enough times to sit around the piano idly and play some tunes, or even finish writing the stories I have planned out in my head.
Maybe one day, I might just be lucky enough...

Monday 3 May 2010

May birthday

I'm supposed to be doing coursework right now, but I don't have any inspiration to do it to be honest.


Not that I have inspiration to do it when I get it done, but I would be great if I could get some for this one. Because, it's about "working to a brief." A lot of you are probably thinking "what does that mean?" That's a very good question. Because you see... I don't really know either. So the less said about that the better.



It's my mums birthday next Sunday. She'll be __ (age removed at the request of a parent). So she's asked for some moisturiser this year for a present. Let me tell you, going around Boots and Superdrug and being the only male in the isles was a little embarrassing. Usually I'm found in the hair product isle (because I have long hair) but that's another issue altogether.

Sad to say after a good hour of trying to find this specific brand of a product, I couldn't, and gave up. So instead I thought about something else she'd like. I went to HMV (and bought this amazing Crowded House album) and found myself in the DVD isle and luckily came across the last copy of "The Bridges of Madison County" (one of her favourite films). Problem solved :). Then as I queued up I remembered that she also loved the film "Out Of Africa" and being the good and thoughtful son that I am, bought both of them as a surprise for her.

I love my mum. She's done a lot to help me over the last few years and I hope she'll like them. This year is kind of a big year for me as well because I'm going to be..... 21! So it's a big birthday this year. Our birthdays are both in May and sadly mine always seems to overshadow hers. This year though my birthday is kind of allowed to be more important, but I don't think it should be.


Well, I'm quite pleased with the way things have gone for getting presents this year. And since I've done quite a good job at entertaining you and putting up some (3) honest blogs over the last few months... If anyone wants to send me a present for my last milestone into adulthood; I'm not going to say no.



Some ideas...


And if I'm really good, I'd like them in deluxe edition's.


Thanks. Bye
xx

























Friday 9 April 2010

Going visual... potentially

A friend suggested that since I ramble on for ages about nothing and somehow make it funny, maybe I should do a couple of broadcasts on you tube. A few problems with that are:
1. I’m going to have to up my game. A game that I’m not even sure I’m good enough at yet. But, it can’t hurt to try.
2. I neeeeeeeed some other stuff, like a decent computer and a web cam. Bluewater’s apple store better watch out. The only way I can get one is if I try to pass off a Mac lap-top as a square baby under one of my friends t-shirts.
3. I’m a bit of a bumbling fool. Thank god for editing. But, I should find interesting things to talk about for a change. (This is where the plan to start living life more should come in handy)
4. I have no flippin' clue how to record, produce, and upload a video onto youtube. Not a sausage. What can I say I've never done it before.


One good thing about it though, was that I announced this on Facebook and got a response of 2 (yes 2!) friends [fans] that said that they’d be interested. And these girls know me pretty well. They’ve had to work with me for days and days. If they like what I have to say maybe other’s might. And maybe it would make a change from writing a few of my thoughts down all the time because when I read this stuff back it sounds like I should be adverting Prozac. I’m not a depressive person by any means, but it seems to come out on the page that way. I guess I have quite a sarcastic humour that can be taken the wrong way.
I laugh and tell people a lot of stuff that’s really only funny if they were there.

My friend Laura - “You don’t read any books that a normal teenager reads. Who reads silence of the lambs?”
Me - “Cannibals?”

My sister Becka is sitting there doing a crossword. “Can I have your pen? I’ve found a word.”
Me - “No. I need it.”
Becka - “Please?”
Me - “No.”
Becka - “Pleeeeeeeeeeese!”
Me - “Okay.”
My sister scans the page again.
Becka - “Oh shit. I’ve lost it”

Anyway, it’s something to think about. Probably along with changing the decorations for this page.

Reality Check

You know whenever I try to tell someone that I’m writing a novel I become embarrassed. Usually they respond happily and say they can’t wait to see it finished, especially when I tell them about what the plot is. But some raise their eyebrows and always seem to say the same words. ‘Oh really?’ Yes really! It’s not that hard to believe. I won’t say what it’s about yet, but I’ve realised that writing about real life isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.
The book is fiction but there are parts that have to regulate to an ordinary life. And they’re probably the hardest parts to write. I don’t know why that is. I, like everyone else, lives an ordinary life. You think it would just roll off my mind and onto the page.
After all that’s what I do on here. Write about life. It’s been an interesting week. Looks like I’ll be going back to work part time at the nursery for a little while to earn myself some dosh. See a couple of the girls. But, I feel a little awkward. It seems like I’m going backwards. I was supposed to leave there to move forward. But you know what I found out when I went back there, is that it didn’t make much of a difference. I could have still grown up well there I think.
Anyway, I’ve stayed par to the course. I’m still at college. I was supposed to be doing coursework this week and I have done sod all. It’s due in soon and I have nothing left to give or to write about. I don’t believe in writers block, but it seems like I’m suffering with a lack of enthusiasm.
To top that off I still have no idea what to write about in this blog. But, I think I’ll call it something like ‘A Life In Progress…’ Or ‘Late developer.’ Or maybe even ‘Just Slow... Really Slow.’ It seems like I’ve been living in my comfort zones for too long, and its time to start growing up a bit. But, I don’t plan to make my life a boring one. I want a life of fun, mistakes, heartache, and love. So I think the only person now who stops me from actually achieving it is me.
But I can hopefully keep a fraction in my writing. We’ll see how it goes from here.

Saturday 27 March 2010

Goodbye Blog Virginity

So... here's the deal.
My name is Paul. I'm a 20 year old student, taking my Diploma in Media. I would like to leave this course with the qualifications to get me started at the bottom at some newspaper. From there I hope I can work my way up to being a journalist.
In truth I never set out to be a journalist. I wanted to be an actor from the age of seven. (Actually, I lie. I wanted to be a storm chaser. Like Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt in Twister. It was the saddest day when I found out that wasn't a "rational" career choice. Like I knew how to be rational at six.) So I wanted to be an actor. But, it turns out puberty would turn me into this introverted man I have become. The kind who would rather sit in on a Saturday night reading and writing, than actually going out and having a good time. (I'm almost twenty one, and I feel like I'm hitting forty already. - I should have a big red "L" painted on my forehead.) I honestly didn't imagine that be like this at my age. I'm a bit of an idealist and thought by twenty one I'd have my life all figured out. I'd be starting the job of my dreams. But let's be honest; when you're being pressed at fifteen to choose a career - you've not been thinking about a career. At fifteen you're more worried about whether you're going to get to six foot. (I'm five foot, eight inches and still wanting to grow taller) You're thinking about Anna. The really beautiful brunette sitting three seats away from you. You're not thinking about a job at fifteen unless you're Richard Branson. So I took an array of GCSE's which yet to have do any me favours. I was supposed to be finishing my final year at university, but I got a really great job offer first (as a nursery nurse). From there, I stared to take a detour in my life.
I was thinking "shit! I'm an adult now and I'm living in the real world. School seems like it was only yesterday." I had worked there for two years. Even though I loved it, the staff were a great bunch of workers, and the kids were spectacular, it just didn't feel like this is where I was supposed to be. I had slid into the job not really having to get to know who I was yet. So on one of my lengthy breaks for the nursery, I sat down and in forty-eight hours decided that what I wanted to do was work in the media industry.
That's why I'm on here. I was told by a tutor to start one of these blogs to use as evidence of writing. Blah, blah, blah! The other reason was to start trusting. I'm a very private person and the closest I have ever come to writing my own personal thoughts on the Internet would be through a maximum three-line Facebook status. A close friend challenged me to start putting myself out there, so that's what I'm doing.
So far the course at college has been a real learning experience. I learned that I could write. (And yet I can't read or spell that well). I have a great small group of friends and classmates who are all equally quirky, fun and fascinating. Once again, I've been lucky enough to land on my feet with a bunch of people who are supportive and inspire me. (By the way, if any of you are reading this, stop stalking me. I know you do it!)
So, at the moment I'm trying to organise an internship during the summer at a newspaper in Reading. Hopefully I'll be able to learn how to write better. If I'm lucky enough to work as a journalist (or get any job in these hard times) I'd like to get around to publishing my book that I've been writing and working on for the last six months.
I was hoping that when I'd start a blog I'd have more useful things to write about, but so far the only thing I have planned (being a broke student) is going to Hard Rock Calling in Hyde Park on June 25th-28th. Maybe there might be some other stuff to mention between now and then.
Thanks for reading.

P.S. Hope and Maria if you have seen this, I pray there are no spelling mistakes or too many commas. Because I know that bothers you two.